How you Raise your Kids Never Matters

So this may seem like some odd "have you lost your mind" topic. However, I am a firm believer that how you raise your kids (that is if you are a middle of the road parent...totally not in the drink the kool-aid way) doesn't matter. Why? Because we all grow up with issues.
Name one person that doesn't have any issues. And if you can then you really don't know that person. Either we are too loved or not loved enough. You were raised by strict parents or they didn't care where you went. They hugged you too much or not enough. No matter how your parent(s) raised you, you now have issues.

Parents, you may be grappling with the issues of your childhood and have sworn to "never be like your parent(s)". Maybe you are wondering if you are being a good parent. Are you instilling the right values, teaching them to love others and do what's right. Maybe you are trying to let them explore the world or you're protecting them from the harsh realities of life. You can be the parent that refuses to let your child watch TV or own an xbox. Maybe you are a middle of the road parent or plops their kids in front of the TV at birth. Honestly, Sesame Street did a lot of parenting for me as a single mom. And the outcome? My kids are all brilliant. No, for real, they all are. Both the ones that started out with me as a single mom and the ones that started out in a two parent household.

Now don't get me wrong. There are parents that are the cause of many injustices against children. That have created for lack of a better word, monsters or poorly adapted adults. I am of course not talking about them. I'm talking about the parent that you see reading to their children in the park. Or the parents that allow their kids to crawl on a restaurant floor while you and your well-mannered children look on in utter fascination at their lack of parenting skills. (true story) Even the friend (or your child's other parent) you get into disagreements with at your differences in parenting philosophies.

I have had people walk up to me and/or my husband and comment on how well behaved our children were. This was of course long before they became teen and pre-teenagers. We would look at them and laugh because our secret to success was expectation. We expected them to act like nothing less than respectful well-behaved children. There were of course consequences like "if you don't behave I will make you smell your father's socks for 5 minutes". But rarely did I actually have to back up my threats.

Inevitably, all of my children will have issues. I'm quite sure they have them now. As a matter of fact, they do. But we have done the best that we can. They know we love them...or maybe they think we don't despite our hugs, kisses and pats on the back. One or all of them will think they are the favorite. One or all of them will think they are less loved. They are all wrong. Because we don't really like any of them and can't wait for them to graduate from high school and move away for college. Until then, we will continue this farce called parenting, creating issues in our children that we will probably never know about.

Honestly, our kids are loved, I think they know it. I think we hug them enough, embarrass them enough in front of their friends, go to enough school events and spend enough quality time with them to show them how much we really do care. But please, check back in about 15 years and I will tell you all about the problems they have. So don't sweat it. If you are doing your best, regardless of your philosophy, your kids will grow to have the same psychologist.